FEELING GUILTY?
Don't be so hard on yourself...
Page 1 By Cathy Spalding
www.gentlespiritllamas.com
A most wonderful "Ah-Ha" epiphany continues to shout loud and clear each year as I travel across North America presenting my behavior and training clinics. This sudden "I've got it!" moment is the realization we can learn to trust ourselves, we all know more than we think we do, our intuitions can be trusted and one magic key does not open all doors.
What Am I Doing Wrong?
Seems we are fearful and worried that we might be "messing up" - or going to "mess up" -- if we do not things the "right" way with our alpacas and llamas. We worry that our relationship with them will be in jeopardy. If one does not or cannot follow the strict a, b, c's of a particular approach or method, is that ok? What if we must make up something right there on the spot for success in a particular instance? Is that wrong? Are we then guilty of not knowing what we are doing; are we actually "messing up?" How often does the notion "this isn't working therefore I must be doing everything wrong" creep into our minds? Seems all that frustration and uncertainty can then metamorphous into not doing the best we can for our alpacas and llamas. feeling they won't like us, we're failing them. and becoming immobile with guilt and inadequacy.
Musing for a moment. how is it that any particular training method comes about? How are things realized, formulated and refined as a training technique? Does it come to us in the nighttime? Do we just wake up one morning and "know" what to do... know what is the"best way... the "right way... know what will always work in any given situation? Are trainers simply gifted? Sometimes. However, I submit that most of the time it does not happen quite that way. The art of becoming a true teacher requires remaining a true student simultaneously. To be a true teacher requires an open mind, imagination, close observation, kindness and honor in approach and the willingness to continue learning. A true teacher does not know all the answers. who does? As both teacher and student, one must leave behind the notion of right and wrong realizing that each of our animals can be individual in their notions and reactions. realizing humans can be as well. What works great for the majority might not work at all for a minority. Keeping an open mind, a true teacher sifts and sorts and combines their knowledge with that of many other teachers, participants and peers. Through teaching yet remaining a student, one can continue to grow becoming better and better in their own personal skills as well as in the sharing of those skills as a teacher/trainer. Truly honoring the knowledge and wisdom shared by my many teachers, I've also learned many things from participants and their animals. It happens, too, that through instances where something simply did not work or by accidentally dropping something or just becoming entangled trying to attach a lead rope, one inadvertently stumbles upon an idea that with some additional thought and refinement works great. And here you thought you had "messed up!"
 Cathy teaching behavior and training at Cornell University Veterinary School in Ithaca, New York
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